Monday, May 31, 2010

Grade 1 & 2

I started this blog to talk about my life at school and students, but It's been hijacked by tales of women. At any rate, something has been on my mind lately concerning my little ones that's really gotten me into a twist... Incipit thoughtful pose?!



I teach at a rural school in the middle of Gangseo-Gu, Busan. It has a total of 32 students, many of whom are orphans. When I first arrived very few could recite the alphabet, let alone read a simple word like cat or happy. After my first year of damage control I needed to get back to the basics, especially with the younger students. Kids are so bright at that age and pick up language so fast. I really wanted to make sure every student could read, it makes the rest of the process a lot easier.

From the start of this school year I've been teaching a lot of phonics, and so far I've been quite successful! I'm a bit stumped on what to do for the grade 1 & 2 class (combined), because 2 students are MUCH better at learning simple conversational English while the rest are picking up how to read really really fast. I've been teaching for over 3 years and while I'm no super teacher, I certainly know how to conduct a great English class. Should I split my class into 20 minute blocks of phonics and conversation? Should I switch between the two every other class? It's not a question of the children being bored and not paying attention, it's the unique needs of each child.

I've attended lots of workshops and seminars in Korea, but they're all pretty much the same. They're just glossing over important points while never really touching on them in a meaningful way.

"All children are unique and have different needs..."

Ok no shit, now what? How do you tailor your lessons to maximize the potential of each student in the class? What strategies can I use to promote the best learning environment for the kids. This is the problem I'm faced with right now. I'm having a real hard time taking my game to the next level, and I really want to. Teachers must also continue to learn.

My school is awesome and my students are brilliant, they just never had a chance to learn English properly. I'm the man in the position to help open that door in their lives and I wanna make sure they have what they need to get there. They deserve the chance (if they want it, kids are fickle beings) to be given all they need to learn and grow. Anyhow that's what I've been mulling over this past week. Just gotta keep working till I find the right formula?!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

What just happened?

What a weekend?! It's pretty cool when you go into the weekend expecting one thing, and something better/awesomer/different happens! I never made it to Mr and Ms. Chopsticks home. I've been breaking my plans with them far too often lately, I don't want to be a bad friend!
I'll have to do something super awesome for them soon, before they hate me forever.... Be a better friend SFP!

Friday night, I was just gonna stay home and sleep. I got a phonecall at 1am from @#$@ #$. I hadn't met her before but I could tell she liked to fuck with lots of guys (literally and figureatively). Anyhow I told her I just wanted to stay home and not do anything, she said ok... but after 5 minutes thought "fuck it" and met up with her in Seomyeon... Spontaneity is fun!?

It started off kind of uncomfortably, but after a few bottle of soju we started to relax and talk freely. 10:00am, 4 bars later, completely smashed we wound up in a Motel with a vibrating bed. I was far too drunk, I couldn't stay hard longer than 5 minutes... yes... I had whiskey dick and man was it embarassing! I thought after that she'd laugh and bail... overboiled noodle dick?!:(

2pm we decided to go out and eat lunch together. I was planning on making a pathetic exit and just go home ashamed and question my manhood. I regained my self confidence (god knows how) and after lunch accompanied her to her friends house for a little more rest. I passed out with her for an hour or so, woke up while they were whispering to each other in the kitchen. I wondered what they were saying. @#$@ @# went to the store and left me alone with her friend, who mysteriously kept laughing ever time she looked at me. (oh god they talked about my pathetic performance). I still have no clue why she didn't make an excuse to get rid of... Definition of "Pathetic loser"

We ended up going back to my place, I was finally recovered from all the godamn soju I had drunk with her (9 bottles and 3 pitchers of beer). SUCCESS!!!! I was back to my normal form and made up for her breakfast of Ramen when she wanted kimbap... Bad pun.

Time to shorten this stupid entry. In the end we stayed together the entire weekend, woke up this morning and she let me drive her car to my school. We've got plans to meet up tomorrow... Maybe the Chopsticks will let me treat them to dinner as well... please?!?!

I'll write about school tomorrow. I'm tired, my throat hurts, I have 3 more classes... But a good weekend makes me feel great! I'll pound my students with English and let em learn!... Good times?!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Punishment can pay off!

2 posts in the same day, ugh. 2 good things happened to me since this morning.

1. The grade 4 afterschool class has been cancelled! Now I'm actually sad about this, but it's Friday. I'll take a break when I can get it!

2. The grade 4 kids 수현, 제현, and 한별 felt it their duty to come into my class and inform me that it was "time for lunch time". 제현 just stood there rubbing his belly saying "Me hungry". You'd think after drilling him for almost 2 years to say "I'm" that he would have picked it up by now but no dice. The other teachers told me his English is better than his Korean. At first I simply thought they were being nice, then they told me he was from China (Again I didn't believe it because the day before he couldn't find Beijing on a world map). But the kid tries! He's the first one to speak whatever random bullshit I had to teach the day/week before.

I guess a lot of teachers feel they have the "best" students ever, mine try their best... And that's better than being little English wiz kids in my books!! I feel sorry for the teachers who have little shithead students. They just didn't get lucky I guess.

성훈 just walked in, dropped off his bag, gave me the thumbs up, said "Very good" and left. If I'm ever feeling burned out, or run down these kids always find a way to make me happy again!

DAD GET ON MSN!!!@#!

Another week in the books baby!

It's strange, most people look forward to the coming weekend. whereas I tend to wish I could just skip it and hit Monday all over again. The only thing guarateed on weekends is I'll become considerably more broke! This weekend proves to be an exception however, SO BRING IT ON!... sweet sweet rest?!

I was invited out by my co-teacher (gasp) for dinner and drinks with some of the other young women who work in the school as specialty teachers (Plus the slightly older science teacher). What a nightmare! The first hour I did my best to use my broken ass Korean and carry off a conversation (no dice), after the 2nd hour they were appologizing for not being able to speak English (my co-teacher included...ugh). Come the 3rd hour we were getting drunk and things became more enjoyable... doG bless beer?!

Today, my co-teacher recruited the grade 5 class (all 7 of em) to haul up bags full of shit from the Daiso store... that means 1 thing... PINESHOP!?!@#! Hurray, I get to teach 6 classes of the exact same shit.

"Welcome to the pine shop, may I help you?

"I wanna blue shapeu pencil please"

"That will be 10 pine, thank you come again"... Rinse and Repeat!?

This will go on all day, including my grade 6 students constantly bitch at me that they get to go last and all the good stuff has already been sold. I love em to death, but that just makes me wanna slap em around till they really have a reason to cry... anger management?!

Mr. and Ms. Chopsticks will save me with beer and Wii. Possibly some chicken from the mouth of a dragon?.... MmmmmMmm beer and chicken?!?!

Monday, May 24, 2010

How to make a long weekend suck

I sure ruined this long weekend! What a shame, and I did it knowingly! @#%@'s visit was 3 days of being harassed and goaded by some of Korea's finer inhabitants. She's simply too short. Combine that with her habit of dressing like an elementary student going to church = Koreans yelling "PERVERT" by the dozens... 1.She's not Jailbait!?

Anyhow, I have myself to blame! Next time i'm just going to go on a trip with Mr.Chopsticks! It wasn't all bad, we had some good times together. She left yesterday morning, I slept the rest of the day... 2.LET ME SLEEP IN!?

I got to eat some Turkish food, which was nice, but it made me sick. I spent most of saturday in my bed trying not to puke for the 6th time... 3.Damn you sweet sweet Kebabistan?!

I finally got to talk to my Father today, it was nice. We always seem to be on different schedules (a 13 hour time difference doesn't help either). I wonder how my sister is doing. I haven't spoken to her in ages, and I don't know if her e-mail is still the same. She's probably gonna shoot me soon enough for not contacting her sooner... SOWWY %#$<3

School was kind of fun today. I had tons of energy ever since I woke up and I used it well! I need to make a couple of dartboards for 은영, and 인해. They spent their 50 fake dollars on my cheap Japanese darts. The least I can do is give em each dartboards so they can use them!... BEST TEECHA EVER?!

If I don't play volleyball this weekend I'm going to go postal on everyones ass!... I NEED TO PLAY WITH SOME BALLS?!

Monday, May 17, 2010

똥침'd by Karma

I went to my usual spot for 1 beer and a game of darts.... Oops?!

Ran into @#$@ and, like always, my night went to complete shit! I almost never drink on weekdays (I actually care about my job), but when I do it's just 1. Anyhow I naively thought I could go to Blue and have a beer before hitting the sack around 10:30. When she showed up, it was like all 32 of my students spiked my ass with their little fingers... Merde?!

We ended up talking, it was actually quite enjoyable (maybe that was the problem right there). I drank my 1 drink, paid my bill, and walked out the door to go home. Then it happened..... WHY DID I ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE?!.... Definition of "Stupid"?!

"Where are you going?"
"Home. I work tomorrow"
"Meet me at 수?"
"Ok"

No joy there. We argued for 2 hours about god knows what stupid bullshit. I asked her to shut up and come home with me, but she was too tired. We parted ways unhappy, tired, and sexually frustrated... BOTH?!

Woke up late. Missed the bus, and because it's a 마을 bus I ended up waiting 2 hours in the rain for another one to come. Needless to say I was extremely pissed to be so late for no good reason (fortunately I have no morning classes tuesdays). My students just walked in 15 minutes ago and said

"SFP, why no come this morning?"

One day they will grow up to suck out a mans soul I'm sure. Then they'll understand why! Until then I'll just get through the day, and pretend it was all a dream... Please let the weekend come!?!?

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Thank God it's OVER!?

Well Friday was certainly a day/night to remember, and not always in a good way!
It started off as pretty much all of my days do... Seriously considering taking a sick day! I never do though (Unless I'm actually sick) so I toughed it out, got dressed and made it to school.

School was fine. At 2pm we all made out way to some crazy ass school in Noksan, the place was huge. The white face who worked there looked like a reasonable chap, but he didn't even bother to say hello. Most of you Westerners in this country can kiss my ass... Stuck up syndrome!?

At any rate, the tournament was boring as hell. I Sat being ignored for about 2 hours as Shinho Elementary School played Nong Myeon Elementary School. Shinho won I think (I wasn't really paying attention). After my School Completely spanked Shinho I thought it would be time to leave. 1 more match against Karak (Those teachers are complete roaches and wouldn't let me play as stated previously). Anyhow it was a tight game I guess, I ended up sneaking out to find some beer. When I got back we were about to lose the last game... Beer O'clock!?

There's nothing like doing the party thing with my school. Those people know how to have fun! Got blasted, ate eel, sang songs... Oxford Dictionary "Good Times"?!

I'm kind of stoked because @#%@# is coming down Thursday for the long weekend. I haven't seen her in like 6 months or so, it will surely be a strange time! Nice girl, but a little messed up in the head. It's not like I'm the most normal person around though... Sexy Time?!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

They took away my volleyball?!!?!

The fuckers! Conspirators!? Downright not nice people!!!!

So I'm happily minding my own business with a little prep work for next week, when all of a sudden my co-teacher ruins EVERYTHING... I've been relegated to the bench!?!?! Apparently the powers that be decided to add a new rule to the inter-school volleyball tournament... NO WHITEY ALLOWED?!

Now, who am I to argue with their authority? They make the rules, I just get fucked by them. It's the nature of things here. At any rate the reason behind this rule is due to my being "too tall". Apparently, because I'm tall, it makes me some kind of volleyball star. I'm certainly no slouch, but hardly worthy of being banned from playing. The principal explained that when we played practice games against the other schools, they would complain that I shouldn't play. He tried to work some magic but alas, none of the other schools want me to play... May you all get spiked in the face!?!?

I have to watch what I eat beacause of my stomach problems, as well as avoid all alcohol. So, not only do I lose my volleyball... I lose the only other good thing about my job (besides the students). The party time dinners!? Apparently Friday night will be a serious shindig with the school. They're planning on going to this super high end noraebang after a feast of some seafood type sustenance. My guess is, 2 bottles of whiskey (I also noticed a new bottle of vodka in the office fridge) and enough soju to drown an elephant... Damnit all to HELL!?@#!@?#

Monday, May 10, 2010

The merry goes 'round

I just watched the Habs defy the odds yet again to force a final, decisive game 7 in Pittsburgh... Crosby is gay!?

Disturbing things happen when I take a dump in the teachers bathroom. I may be scarred for life... Ressurection of Freud?!

I'm sick and tired of taking the bus home with my principal. He considers it his duty to tell me where to sit. Which always ends up being in the back of the bus, and because of the tiny ass roads it drives on I practically fly out of my seat with every bump it hits. My stomach literally convulses in pain at times. Tests should come back soon, I pray I don't have an ulcer... What's going on in there?!

I have to teach this little conversation book to my students this year, it's not bad but I'd rather do my own thing. Today I have 3 classes dedicated to it. The students like it, I turn the dialogues into wierd roleplays with funny sunglasses... I'm KANYE bitches?!

Volleyball tomorrow.... PLEASE?!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

1 Month of Madness!?

A lot can happen in a month. Especially in the tumultuous world of an ESL teacher living in Korea?! Number of Hello's by students today: 43 Number of students: 32

Two of my molars are rotting away. It happened during a meal of rice and kimchi gone very very wrong! Something started going "crunch" and it wasn't the Kimchi! After a relatively cheap visit to the dentist it was confirmed that 2 of my back molars (1 on each side) were falling apart. Surgery of some type will be required eventually... Fuck that honky shit?!

Women came, and women went?! In what seems to be the on going pattern of my love life, very little pans out for long. I don't mind the freedom and what-not, but sometimes it's nice to wake up with the girl beside you and think that you'll see her for more than a week tops. At any rate, I seemed to go through more than usual lately. Sucks balls?!... (sometimes figuratively sometimes literally!?)

School has been....school?! Preparing for exams was hectic to say the least. I actually hoped to see some improvement in my students test scores. I wasn't disappointed! Students who averaged 30-40% last year were getting upper 50's to 60% this year (Come on.. baby steps). Co-teacher still hates my guts... That won't ever change?! I'm starting to wonder if I should just transfer to a new school next year. I'd miss the kids though... Kiss my whitebread in Korea ass?!

I GOT MY HAT BACK! That nutty chick ##### gave me my hat back! After she told me it was gone forever?! Sometimes good things happen to bad people... Fuck you Karma!?