Lots to say today, I might actually post twice... Lame?!
Thursday... Ever really look forward to an enjoyable evening only to have it blow up in your face? I know bunk about soccer, but I had a suspicious feeling Argentina was going to destroy Korea. !@# $@# was all pumped for the game, we decided that we'd watch it in 똥꼬 (literally means Asshole). I enjoy their bamboo booze, it tastes like cider, you get a ton of it for 4$, and it doesn't drop me like soju... Boy was I wrong?!
1 hour before the game, @#$ @#^ is shitting bricks (practically giving herself a heart attack). She's talking about having a feeling Korea is going to beat Argentina... So much for rationality!?
2 minutes into the game I knew Korea was going to be annihilated by Argentina, they couldn't maintain possession, they couldn't pass, they were children playing against men. $@# !@~ decided that drinking was a good way to cope with the stress of Korea getting their asses handed to them, so we ended up switching to soju... Long story shot, we ended up shitfaced at my home argueing about god knows what for 3 hours... Damn you Argentina?!
School sucked the next day, I try not to drink on weekdays as I actually respect my job and act professionally. Anyhow, I get a pass for being hungover that day because the rest of the schoolteachers were equally angry and hungover. I figured &$ @#% n me were through, but she appologized for going mental (she really was) and we just spent the weekend together relaxing and watching 3rd rock from the sun. I have absolutely NO money until I get paid, so when she suggested we go to a ShabuShabu restaurant, I countered with Kimbap... Cheap bastard?!
_________________________ANYHOW_____________________
My classes seem to be cancelled today for some unknown reason. At least 3 of them seem to be, I'm sure I'll be teaching grades 1,2 & 3 afterschool but that's just gravy. The kids have learned "How are you?" like little pros, and I didn't teach them that lame ass "I'm fine thank you, and you?" robot shit. They say "I'm very good" "I'm so hungry" (if it's before lunch time), "Not bad" (instead of fucking so-so). My students will get an imaginary punch in the face if they ever use so-so... Bad Teacher?!
Grade 3 is a different story, 지윤 is still making my class a nightmare. I'm not exactly sure how to deal with a student quite like her. We even have a new grade 2 student 소리, whom I was told hasn't smiled or spoken above a whisper since she began 1st grade. After a week I've got her singing and talking like the rest of my kids. I'm not going to give up. There's gotta be a way, and if there isn't a way I'll just have to do what I can to make the best of it... Resistance is futile!?
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Weekends, Temples and Soccer
That's right, I said soccer. I teach my children about soccer, and they like to play soccer. I'm Canadian so i just go with what I've said all my life... ANYHOW?!
Watched the first game with @#$ $@! at a park near my place. Some newly minted politicians decided to set up a big screen as thanks to those who "voted" for them. It was quite nice! The Chopsticks joined us in watching S.A play to a draw. There was an entire pig being slow roasted on a BBQ made from 2 barrels split apart then welded together to form a MEGAQ, but you got such a small amount for 30$ it made me cry... RIP OFF!?
A grade 4 student 소연 just walked into class with a hangmans noose, and board eraser. She asks "Where do you live?" --- I thought she liked my class!!
We watched Korea beat Greece the following night at the same place. This time (obviously) it was packed with hundreds of Koreans. We had a little spot picked out, drank coffee and watched the game. I enjoyed it, but I know jack shit about soccer so I just went "ooo" when something good or bad happened. Oh, I also jumped up and cheered when Korea scored (didn't wanna slow the party).
We spent the weekend at my place (this time she told her mom she was staying in 섬연 with a friend) , it was awesome. Saturday we drove to Tongdosa temple and spent the afternoon walking around taking pictures and stuff. I love doing shit like that with someone! A real girlfriend is 10x more fulfilling than just some random chick you meet for a short dance in the forest... Whatchoo talkin 'bout SFP?!
Thanks to a great weekend, I've managed to do the impossible and shake off the mid-term funk I was in. I'm rocking my classes, well all except the grade 3 class. Those girls are stonefaced killers, especially 지윤. She's like possessed of the devil or something, she just sits there mumbling and making mean faces. She was so sweet last year too, I wonder what happened. Oh well can't win em all over!... LOVE ME DAMNIT?!
I've got 2 classes left today, gonna be no problem getting through them. Only question left on my mind is what to do after I'm done!... hmmmm?!
Watched the first game with @#$ $@! at a park near my place. Some newly minted politicians decided to set up a big screen as thanks to those who "voted" for them. It was quite nice! The Chopsticks joined us in watching S.A play to a draw. There was an entire pig being slow roasted on a BBQ made from 2 barrels split apart then welded together to form a MEGAQ, but you got such a small amount for 30$ it made me cry... RIP OFF!?
A grade 4 student 소연 just walked into class with a hangmans noose, and board eraser. She asks "Where do you live?" --- I thought she liked my class!!
We watched Korea beat Greece the following night at the same place. This time (obviously) it was packed with hundreds of Koreans. We had a little spot picked out, drank coffee and watched the game. I enjoyed it, but I know jack shit about soccer so I just went "ooo" when something good or bad happened. Oh, I also jumped up and cheered when Korea scored (didn't wanna slow the party).
We spent the weekend at my place (this time she told her mom she was staying in 섬연 with a friend) , it was awesome. Saturday we drove to Tongdosa temple and spent the afternoon walking around taking pictures and stuff. I love doing shit like that with someone! A real girlfriend is 10x more fulfilling than just some random chick you meet for a short dance in the forest... Whatchoo talkin 'bout SFP?!
Thanks to a great weekend, I've managed to do the impossible and shake off the mid-term funk I was in. I'm rocking my classes, well all except the grade 3 class. Those girls are stonefaced killers, especially 지윤. She's like possessed of the devil or something, she just sits there mumbling and making mean faces. She was so sweet last year too, I wonder what happened. Oh well can't win em all over!... LOVE ME DAMNIT?!
I've got 2 classes left today, gonna be no problem getting through them. Only question left on my mind is what to do after I'm done!... hmmmm?!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Midterm Blues
That's right, I'm kind of in a funk at school. It usually starts mid-late June and lasts until camps start...
The weather is just too fucking awesome, the beaches crying out for my attention, and I still haven't figured how to switch the system from heat to air conditioning (not that I use the A/C much anyhow). During this time I get tired of the same old shit I've done over the past 3 months. The only thing I enjoy doing now is planning the summer camps for the coming break, of which I have 3 this year... Vacation stealing Cocksuckers?!
After camps have finished, and I get my meager vacation, the batteries have been fully regarged and I'm ready to get back to the job with a vengeance.
This year we're doing a neat little lesson on 'Parachutes'. I'm going to have a little contest after for each team, involving a die cast metal soldier figurine, and maybe we'll send fido into the atmosphere as well but I'm Not sure yet. Fido will be plastic and much lighter than G.I Jeong, after they've designed and completed their 'chutes it's up to the roof to lauch our army. We'll combine the descent time for their 2 drops, and the team with the overall slowest descent time wins. Despite the low speaking level of my students, there's so much useable English I can teach them with this I'm having a hard time figuring out how I wanna do it!
Mini olympics, Cake decorating, Shoebox dioramas, Phonics, and making a movie are also on the agenda for this year. I'm a little bit annoyed that my new VP is a pussy and refuses to give me any of the perks I had last year (lots of extra time off, no desk warming etc...) but whatever. I enjoy my job, and the students make me happy... SFP 화이팅?!?!
OH Noes not another one...
So I should probably start taking bets on how long this new girl and I will last. It has potential, but then again I say that often enough! We've spent entirely too much time together since we've met. It could also burn out as fast as it started up, which I hope doesn't happen. It's strange, because she was the one instigating everything, I just kinda rode her wave (nice wave!!)... REAL nice wave?!
I hope I get to see her tonight, otherwise we'll probably meet up in 광알리 tomorrow for some KOREA vs. GREECE madness. Sorry to all you Greeks out there but Korea is going to smash you. I'm really looking forward to Argentina vs Korea. That will be a wild game I'm sure, I told my students I think Argentina will win... they got pissed!
Oh the stories I have about @#$ @#$ and me from last week... !?:)?!
The weather is just too fucking awesome, the beaches crying out for my attention, and I still haven't figured how to switch the system from heat to air conditioning (not that I use the A/C much anyhow). During this time I get tired of the same old shit I've done over the past 3 months. The only thing I enjoy doing now is planning the summer camps for the coming break, of which I have 3 this year... Vacation stealing Cocksuckers?!
After camps have finished, and I get my meager vacation, the batteries have been fully regarged and I'm ready to get back to the job with a vengeance.
This year we're doing a neat little lesson on 'Parachutes'. I'm going to have a little contest after for each team, involving a die cast metal soldier figurine, and maybe we'll send fido into the atmosphere as well but I'm Not sure yet. Fido will be plastic and much lighter than G.I Jeong, after they've designed and completed their 'chutes it's up to the roof to lauch our army. We'll combine the descent time for their 2 drops, and the team with the overall slowest descent time wins. Despite the low speaking level of my students, there's so much useable English I can teach them with this I'm having a hard time figuring out how I wanna do it!
Mini olympics, Cake decorating, Shoebox dioramas, Phonics, and making a movie are also on the agenda for this year. I'm a little bit annoyed that my new VP is a pussy and refuses to give me any of the perks I had last year (lots of extra time off, no desk warming etc...) but whatever. I enjoy my job, and the students make me happy... SFP 화이팅?!?!
OH Noes not another one...
So I should probably start taking bets on how long this new girl and I will last. It has potential, but then again I say that often enough! We've spent entirely too much time together since we've met. It could also burn out as fast as it started up, which I hope doesn't happen. It's strange, because she was the one instigating everything, I just kinda rode her wave (nice wave!!)... REAL nice wave?!
I hope I get to see her tonight, otherwise we'll probably meet up in 광알리 tomorrow for some KOREA vs. GREECE madness. Sorry to all you Greeks out there but Korea is going to smash you. I'm really looking forward to Argentina vs Korea. That will be a wild game I'm sure, I told my students I think Argentina will win... they got pissed!
Oh the stories I have about @#$ @#$ and me from last week... !?:)?!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Grade 1 & 2
I started this blog to talk about my life at school and students, but It's been hijacked by tales of women. At any rate, something has been on my mind lately concerning my little ones that's really gotten me into a twist... Incipit thoughtful pose?!
I teach at a rural school in the middle of Gangseo-Gu, Busan. It has a total of 32 students, many of whom are orphans. When I first arrived very few could recite the alphabet, let alone read a simple word like cat or happy. After my first year of damage control I needed to get back to the basics, especially with the younger students. Kids are so bright at that age and pick up language so fast. I really wanted to make sure every student could read, it makes the rest of the process a lot easier.
From the start of this school year I've been teaching a lot of phonics, and so far I've been quite successful! I'm a bit stumped on what to do for the grade 1 & 2 class (combined), because 2 students are MUCH better at learning simple conversational English while the rest are picking up how to read really really fast. I've been teaching for over 3 years and while I'm no super teacher, I certainly know how to conduct a great English class. Should I split my class into 20 minute blocks of phonics and conversation? Should I switch between the two every other class? It's not a question of the children being bored and not paying attention, it's the unique needs of each child.
I've attended lots of workshops and seminars in Korea, but they're all pretty much the same. They're just glossing over important points while never really touching on them in a meaningful way.
"All children are unique and have different needs..."
Ok no shit, now what? How do you tailor your lessons to maximize the potential of each student in the class? What strategies can I use to promote the best learning environment for the kids. This is the problem I'm faced with right now. I'm having a real hard time taking my game to the next level, and I really want to. Teachers must also continue to learn.
My school is awesome and my students are brilliant, they just never had a chance to learn English properly. I'm the man in the position to help open that door in their lives and I wanna make sure they have what they need to get there. They deserve the chance (if they want it, kids are fickle beings) to be given all they need to learn and grow. Anyhow that's what I've been mulling over this past week. Just gotta keep working till I find the right formula?!
I teach at a rural school in the middle of Gangseo-Gu, Busan. It has a total of 32 students, many of whom are orphans. When I first arrived very few could recite the alphabet, let alone read a simple word like cat or happy. After my first year of damage control I needed to get back to the basics, especially with the younger students. Kids are so bright at that age and pick up language so fast. I really wanted to make sure every student could read, it makes the rest of the process a lot easier.
From the start of this school year I've been teaching a lot of phonics, and so far I've been quite successful! I'm a bit stumped on what to do for the grade 1 & 2 class (combined), because 2 students are MUCH better at learning simple conversational English while the rest are picking up how to read really really fast. I've been teaching for over 3 years and while I'm no super teacher, I certainly know how to conduct a great English class. Should I split my class into 20 minute blocks of phonics and conversation? Should I switch between the two every other class? It's not a question of the children being bored and not paying attention, it's the unique needs of each child.
I've attended lots of workshops and seminars in Korea, but they're all pretty much the same. They're just glossing over important points while never really touching on them in a meaningful way.
"All children are unique and have different needs..."
Ok no shit, now what? How do you tailor your lessons to maximize the potential of each student in the class? What strategies can I use to promote the best learning environment for the kids. This is the problem I'm faced with right now. I'm having a real hard time taking my game to the next level, and I really want to. Teachers must also continue to learn.
My school is awesome and my students are brilliant, they just never had a chance to learn English properly. I'm the man in the position to help open that door in their lives and I wanna make sure they have what they need to get there. They deserve the chance (if they want it, kids are fickle beings) to be given all they need to learn and grow. Anyhow that's what I've been mulling over this past week. Just gotta keep working till I find the right formula?!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
What just happened?
What a weekend?! It's pretty cool when you go into the weekend expecting one thing, and something better/awesomer/different happens! I never made it to Mr and Ms. Chopsticks home. I've been breaking my plans with them far too often lately, I don't want to be a bad friend!
I'll have to do something super awesome for them soon, before they hate me forever.... Be a better friend SFP!
Friday night, I was just gonna stay home and sleep. I got a phonecall at 1am from @#$@ #$. I hadn't met her before but I could tell she liked to fuck with lots of guys (literally and figureatively). Anyhow I told her I just wanted to stay home and not do anything, she said ok... but after 5 minutes thought "fuck it" and met up with her in Seomyeon... Spontaneity is fun!?
It started off kind of uncomfortably, but after a few bottle of soju we started to relax and talk freely. 10:00am, 4 bars later, completely smashed we wound up in a Motel with a vibrating bed. I was far too drunk, I couldn't stay hard longer than 5 minutes... yes... I had whiskey dick and man was it embarassing! I thought after that she'd laugh and bail... overboiled noodle dick?!:(
2pm we decided to go out and eat lunch together. I was planning on making a pathetic exit and just go home ashamed and question my manhood. I regained my self confidence (god knows how) and after lunch accompanied her to her friends house for a little more rest. I passed out with her for an hour or so, woke up while they were whispering to each other in the kitchen. I wondered what they were saying. @#$@ @# went to the store and left me alone with her friend, who mysteriously kept laughing ever time she looked at me. (oh god they talked about my pathetic performance). I still have no clue why she didn't make an excuse to get rid of... Definition of "Pathetic loser"
We ended up going back to my place, I was finally recovered from all the godamn soju I had drunk with her (9 bottles and 3 pitchers of beer). SUCCESS!!!! I was back to my normal form and made up for her breakfast of Ramen when she wanted kimbap... Bad pun.
Time to shorten this stupid entry. In the end we stayed together the entire weekend, woke up this morning and she let me drive her car to my school. We've got plans to meet up tomorrow... Maybe the Chopsticks will let me treat them to dinner as well... please?!?!
I'll write about school tomorrow. I'm tired, my throat hurts, I have 3 more classes... But a good weekend makes me feel great! I'll pound my students with English and let em learn!... Good times?!
I'll have to do something super awesome for them soon, before they hate me forever.... Be a better friend SFP!
Friday night, I was just gonna stay home and sleep. I got a phonecall at 1am from @#$@ #$. I hadn't met her before but I could tell she liked to fuck with lots of guys (literally and figureatively). Anyhow I told her I just wanted to stay home and not do anything, she said ok... but after 5 minutes thought "fuck it" and met up with her in Seomyeon... Spontaneity is fun!?
It started off kind of uncomfortably, but after a few bottle of soju we started to relax and talk freely. 10:00am, 4 bars later, completely smashed we wound up in a Motel with a vibrating bed. I was far too drunk, I couldn't stay hard longer than 5 minutes... yes... I had whiskey dick and man was it embarassing! I thought after that she'd laugh and bail... overboiled noodle dick?!:(
2pm we decided to go out and eat lunch together. I was planning on making a pathetic exit and just go home ashamed and question my manhood. I regained my self confidence (god knows how) and after lunch accompanied her to her friends house for a little more rest. I passed out with her for an hour or so, woke up while they were whispering to each other in the kitchen. I wondered what they were saying. @#$@ @# went to the store and left me alone with her friend, who mysteriously kept laughing ever time she looked at me. (oh god they talked about my pathetic performance). I still have no clue why she didn't make an excuse to get rid of... Definition of "Pathetic loser"
We ended up going back to my place, I was finally recovered from all the godamn soju I had drunk with her (9 bottles and 3 pitchers of beer). SUCCESS!!!! I was back to my normal form and made up for her breakfast of Ramen when she wanted kimbap... Bad pun.
Time to shorten this stupid entry. In the end we stayed together the entire weekend, woke up this morning and she let me drive her car to my school. We've got plans to meet up tomorrow... Maybe the Chopsticks will let me treat them to dinner as well... please?!?!
I'll write about school tomorrow. I'm tired, my throat hurts, I have 3 more classes... But a good weekend makes me feel great! I'll pound my students with English and let em learn!... Good times?!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Punishment can pay off!
2 posts in the same day, ugh. 2 good things happened to me since this morning.
1. The grade 4 afterschool class has been cancelled! Now I'm actually sad about this, but it's Friday. I'll take a break when I can get it!
2. The grade 4 kids 수현, 제현, and 한별 felt it their duty to come into my class and inform me that it was "time for lunch time". 제현 just stood there rubbing his belly saying "Me hungry". You'd think after drilling him for almost 2 years to say "I'm" that he would have picked it up by now but no dice. The other teachers told me his English is better than his Korean. At first I simply thought they were being nice, then they told me he was from China (Again I didn't believe it because the day before he couldn't find Beijing on a world map). But the kid tries! He's the first one to speak whatever random bullshit I had to teach the day/week before.
I guess a lot of teachers feel they have the "best" students ever, mine try their best... And that's better than being little English wiz kids in my books!! I feel sorry for the teachers who have little shithead students. They just didn't get lucky I guess.
성훈 just walked in, dropped off his bag, gave me the thumbs up, said "Very good" and left. If I'm ever feeling burned out, or run down these kids always find a way to make me happy again!
DAD GET ON MSN!!!@#!
1. The grade 4 afterschool class has been cancelled! Now I'm actually sad about this, but it's Friday. I'll take a break when I can get it!
2. The grade 4 kids 수현, 제현, and 한별 felt it their duty to come into my class and inform me that it was "time for lunch time". 제현 just stood there rubbing his belly saying "Me hungry". You'd think after drilling him for almost 2 years to say "I'm" that he would have picked it up by now but no dice. The other teachers told me his English is better than his Korean. At first I simply thought they were being nice, then they told me he was from China (Again I didn't believe it because the day before he couldn't find Beijing on a world map). But the kid tries! He's the first one to speak whatever random bullshit I had to teach the day/week before.
I guess a lot of teachers feel they have the "best" students ever, mine try their best... And that's better than being little English wiz kids in my books!! I feel sorry for the teachers who have little shithead students. They just didn't get lucky I guess.
성훈 just walked in, dropped off his bag, gave me the thumbs up, said "Very good" and left. If I'm ever feeling burned out, or run down these kids always find a way to make me happy again!
DAD GET ON MSN!!!@#!
Another week in the books baby!
It's strange, most people look forward to the coming weekend. whereas I tend to wish I could just skip it and hit Monday all over again. The only thing guarateed on weekends is I'll become considerably more broke! This weekend proves to be an exception however, SO BRING IT ON!... sweet sweet rest?!
I was invited out by my co-teacher (gasp) for dinner and drinks with some of the other young women who work in the school as specialty teachers (Plus the slightly older science teacher). What a nightmare! The first hour I did my best to use my broken ass Korean and carry off a conversation (no dice), after the 2nd hour they were appologizing for not being able to speak English (my co-teacher included...ugh). Come the 3rd hour we were getting drunk and things became more enjoyable... doG bless beer?!
Today, my co-teacher recruited the grade 5 class (all 7 of em) to haul up bags full of shit from the Daiso store... that means 1 thing... PINESHOP!?!@#! Hurray, I get to teach 6 classes of the exact same shit.
"Welcome to the pine shop, may I help you?
"I wanna blue shapeu pencil please"
"That will be 10 pine, thank you come again"... Rinse and Repeat!?
This will go on all day, including my grade 6 students constantly bitch at me that they get to go last and all the good stuff has already been sold. I love em to death, but that just makes me wanna slap em around till they really have a reason to cry... anger management?!
Mr. and Ms. Chopsticks will save me with beer and Wii. Possibly some chicken from the mouth of a dragon?.... MmmmmMmm beer and chicken?!?!
I was invited out by my co-teacher (gasp) for dinner and drinks with some of the other young women who work in the school as specialty teachers (Plus the slightly older science teacher). What a nightmare! The first hour I did my best to use my broken ass Korean and carry off a conversation (no dice), after the 2nd hour they were appologizing for not being able to speak English (my co-teacher included...ugh). Come the 3rd hour we were getting drunk and things became more enjoyable... doG bless beer?!
Today, my co-teacher recruited the grade 5 class (all 7 of em) to haul up bags full of shit from the Daiso store... that means 1 thing... PINESHOP!?!@#! Hurray, I get to teach 6 classes of the exact same shit.
"Welcome to the pine shop, may I help you?
"I wanna blue shapeu pencil please"
"That will be 10 pine, thank you come again"... Rinse and Repeat!?
This will go on all day, including my grade 6 students constantly bitch at me that they get to go last and all the good stuff has already been sold. I love em to death, but that just makes me wanna slap em around till they really have a reason to cry... anger management?!
Mr. and Ms. Chopsticks will save me with beer and Wii. Possibly some chicken from the mouth of a dragon?.... MmmmmMmm beer and chicken?!?!
Monday, May 24, 2010
How to make a long weekend suck
I sure ruined this long weekend! What a shame, and I did it knowingly! @#%@'s visit was 3 days of being harassed and goaded by some of Korea's finer inhabitants. She's simply too short. Combine that with her habit of dressing like an elementary student going to church = Koreans yelling "PERVERT" by the dozens... 1.She's not Jailbait!?
Anyhow, I have myself to blame! Next time i'm just going to go on a trip with Mr.Chopsticks! It wasn't all bad, we had some good times together. She left yesterday morning, I slept the rest of the day... 2.LET ME SLEEP IN!?
I got to eat some Turkish food, which was nice, but it made me sick. I spent most of saturday in my bed trying not to puke for the 6th time... 3.Damn you sweet sweet Kebabistan?!
I finally got to talk to my Father today, it was nice. We always seem to be on different schedules (a 13 hour time difference doesn't help either). I wonder how my sister is doing. I haven't spoken to her in ages, and I don't know if her e-mail is still the same. She's probably gonna shoot me soon enough for not contacting her sooner... SOWWY %#$<3
School was kind of fun today. I had tons of energy ever since I woke up and I used it well! I need to make a couple of dartboards for 은영, and 인해. They spent their 50 fake dollars on my cheap Japanese darts. The least I can do is give em each dartboards so they can use them!... BEST TEECHA EVER?!
If I don't play volleyball this weekend I'm going to go postal on everyones ass!... I NEED TO PLAY WITH SOME BALLS?!
Anyhow, I have myself to blame! Next time i'm just going to go on a trip with Mr.Chopsticks! It wasn't all bad, we had some good times together. She left yesterday morning, I slept the rest of the day... 2.LET ME SLEEP IN!?
I got to eat some Turkish food, which was nice, but it made me sick. I spent most of saturday in my bed trying not to puke for the 6th time... 3.Damn you sweet sweet Kebabistan?!
I finally got to talk to my Father today, it was nice. We always seem to be on different schedules (a 13 hour time difference doesn't help either). I wonder how my sister is doing. I haven't spoken to her in ages, and I don't know if her e-mail is still the same. She's probably gonna shoot me soon enough for not contacting her sooner... SOWWY %#$<3
School was kind of fun today. I had tons of energy ever since I woke up and I used it well! I need to make a couple of dartboards for 은영, and 인해. They spent their 50 fake dollars on my cheap Japanese darts. The least I can do is give em each dartboards so they can use them!... BEST TEECHA EVER?!
If I don't play volleyball this weekend I'm going to go postal on everyones ass!... I NEED TO PLAY WITH SOME BALLS?!
Monday, May 17, 2010
똥침'd by Karma
I went to my usual spot for 1 beer and a game of darts.... Oops?!
Ran into @#$@ and, like always, my night went to complete shit! I almost never drink on weekdays (I actually care about my job), but when I do it's just 1. Anyhow I naively thought I could go to Blue and have a beer before hitting the sack around 10:30. When she showed up, it was like all 32 of my students spiked my ass with their little fingers... Merde?!
We ended up talking, it was actually quite enjoyable (maybe that was the problem right there). I drank my 1 drink, paid my bill, and walked out the door to go home. Then it happened..... WHY DID I ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE?!.... Definition of "Stupid"?!
"Where are you going?"
"Home. I work tomorrow"
"Meet me at 수?"
"Ok"
No joy there. We argued for 2 hours about god knows what stupid bullshit. I asked her to shut up and come home with me, but she was too tired. We parted ways unhappy, tired, and sexually frustrated... BOTH?!
Woke up late. Missed the bus, and because it's a 마을 bus I ended up waiting 2 hours in the rain for another one to come. Needless to say I was extremely pissed to be so late for no good reason (fortunately I have no morning classes tuesdays). My students just walked in 15 minutes ago and said
"SFP, why no come this morning?"
One day they will grow up to suck out a mans soul I'm sure. Then they'll understand why! Until then I'll just get through the day, and pretend it was all a dream... Please let the weekend come!?!?
Ran into @#$@ and, like always, my night went to complete shit! I almost never drink on weekdays (I actually care about my job), but when I do it's just 1. Anyhow I naively thought I could go to Blue and have a beer before hitting the sack around 10:30. When she showed up, it was like all 32 of my students spiked my ass with their little fingers... Merde?!
We ended up talking, it was actually quite enjoyable (maybe that was the problem right there). I drank my 1 drink, paid my bill, and walked out the door to go home. Then it happened..... WHY DID I ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE?!.... Definition of "Stupid"?!
"Where are you going?"
"Home. I work tomorrow"
"Meet me at 수?"
"Ok"
No joy there. We argued for 2 hours about god knows what stupid bullshit. I asked her to shut up and come home with me, but she was too tired. We parted ways unhappy, tired, and sexually frustrated... BOTH?!
Woke up late. Missed the bus, and because it's a 마을 bus I ended up waiting 2 hours in the rain for another one to come. Needless to say I was extremely pissed to be so late for no good reason (fortunately I have no morning classes tuesdays). My students just walked in 15 minutes ago and said
"SFP, why no come this morning?"
One day they will grow up to suck out a mans soul I'm sure. Then they'll understand why! Until then I'll just get through the day, and pretend it was all a dream... Please let the weekend come!?!?
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Thank God it's OVER!?
Well Friday was certainly a day/night to remember, and not always in a good way!
It started off as pretty much all of my days do... Seriously considering taking a sick day! I never do though (Unless I'm actually sick) so I toughed it out, got dressed and made it to school.
School was fine. At 2pm we all made out way to some crazy ass school in Noksan, the place was huge. The white face who worked there looked like a reasonable chap, but he didn't even bother to say hello. Most of you Westerners in this country can kiss my ass... Stuck up syndrome!?
At any rate, the tournament was boring as hell. I Sat being ignored for about 2 hours as Shinho Elementary School played Nong Myeon Elementary School. Shinho won I think (I wasn't really paying attention). After my School Completely spanked Shinho I thought it would be time to leave. 1 more match against Karak (Those teachers are complete roaches and wouldn't let me play as stated previously). Anyhow it was a tight game I guess, I ended up sneaking out to find some beer. When I got back we were about to lose the last game... Beer O'clock!?
There's nothing like doing the party thing with my school. Those people know how to have fun! Got blasted, ate eel, sang songs... Oxford Dictionary "Good Times"?!
I'm kind of stoked because @#%@# is coming down Thursday for the long weekend. I haven't seen her in like 6 months or so, it will surely be a strange time! Nice girl, but a little messed up in the head. It's not like I'm the most normal person around though... Sexy Time?!
It started off as pretty much all of my days do... Seriously considering taking a sick day! I never do though (Unless I'm actually sick) so I toughed it out, got dressed and made it to school.
School was fine. At 2pm we all made out way to some crazy ass school in Noksan, the place was huge. The white face who worked there looked like a reasonable chap, but he didn't even bother to say hello. Most of you Westerners in this country can kiss my ass... Stuck up syndrome!?
At any rate, the tournament was boring as hell. I Sat being ignored for about 2 hours as Shinho Elementary School played Nong Myeon Elementary School. Shinho won I think (I wasn't really paying attention). After my School Completely spanked Shinho I thought it would be time to leave. 1 more match against Karak (Those teachers are complete roaches and wouldn't let me play as stated previously). Anyhow it was a tight game I guess, I ended up sneaking out to find some beer. When I got back we were about to lose the last game... Beer O'clock!?
There's nothing like doing the party thing with my school. Those people know how to have fun! Got blasted, ate eel, sang songs... Oxford Dictionary "Good Times"?!
I'm kind of stoked because @#%@# is coming down Thursday for the long weekend. I haven't seen her in like 6 months or so, it will surely be a strange time! Nice girl, but a little messed up in the head. It's not like I'm the most normal person around though... Sexy Time?!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
They took away my volleyball?!!?!
The fuckers! Conspirators!? Downright not nice people!!!!
So I'm happily minding my own business with a little prep work for next week, when all of a sudden my co-teacher ruins EVERYTHING... I've been relegated to the bench!?!?! Apparently the powers that be decided to add a new rule to the inter-school volleyball tournament... NO WHITEY ALLOWED?!
Now, who am I to argue with their authority? They make the rules, I just get fucked by them. It's the nature of things here. At any rate the reason behind this rule is due to my being "too tall". Apparently, because I'm tall, it makes me some kind of volleyball star. I'm certainly no slouch, but hardly worthy of being banned from playing. The principal explained that when we played practice games against the other schools, they would complain that I shouldn't play. He tried to work some magic but alas, none of the other schools want me to play... May you all get spiked in the face!?!?
I have to watch what I eat beacause of my stomach problems, as well as avoid all alcohol. So, not only do I lose my volleyball... I lose the only other good thing about my job (besides the students). The party time dinners!? Apparently Friday night will be a serious shindig with the school. They're planning on going to this super high end noraebang after a feast of some seafood type sustenance. My guess is, 2 bottles of whiskey (I also noticed a new bottle of vodka in the office fridge) and enough soju to drown an elephant... Damnit all to HELL!?@#!@?#
So I'm happily minding my own business with a little prep work for next week, when all of a sudden my co-teacher ruins EVERYTHING... I've been relegated to the bench!?!?! Apparently the powers that be decided to add a new rule to the inter-school volleyball tournament... NO WHITEY ALLOWED?!
Now, who am I to argue with their authority? They make the rules, I just get fucked by them. It's the nature of things here. At any rate the reason behind this rule is due to my being "too tall". Apparently, because I'm tall, it makes me some kind of volleyball star. I'm certainly no slouch, but hardly worthy of being banned from playing. The principal explained that when we played practice games against the other schools, they would complain that I shouldn't play. He tried to work some magic but alas, none of the other schools want me to play... May you all get spiked in the face!?!?
I have to watch what I eat beacause of my stomach problems, as well as avoid all alcohol. So, not only do I lose my volleyball... I lose the only other good thing about my job (besides the students). The party time dinners!? Apparently Friday night will be a serious shindig with the school. They're planning on going to this super high end noraebang after a feast of some seafood type sustenance. My guess is, 2 bottles of whiskey (I also noticed a new bottle of vodka in the office fridge) and enough soju to drown an elephant... Damnit all to HELL!?@#!@?#
Monday, May 10, 2010
The merry goes 'round
I just watched the Habs defy the odds yet again to force a final, decisive game 7 in Pittsburgh... Crosby is gay!?
Disturbing things happen when I take a dump in the teachers bathroom. I may be scarred for life... Ressurection of Freud?!
I'm sick and tired of taking the bus home with my principal. He considers it his duty to tell me where to sit. Which always ends up being in the back of the bus, and because of the tiny ass roads it drives on I practically fly out of my seat with every bump it hits. My stomach literally convulses in pain at times. Tests should come back soon, I pray I don't have an ulcer... What's going on in there?!
I have to teach this little conversation book to my students this year, it's not bad but I'd rather do my own thing. Today I have 3 classes dedicated to it. The students like it, I turn the dialogues into wierd roleplays with funny sunglasses... I'm KANYE bitches?!
Volleyball tomorrow.... PLEASE?!
Disturbing things happen when I take a dump in the teachers bathroom. I may be scarred for life... Ressurection of Freud?!
I'm sick and tired of taking the bus home with my principal. He considers it his duty to tell me where to sit. Which always ends up being in the back of the bus, and because of the tiny ass roads it drives on I practically fly out of my seat with every bump it hits. My stomach literally convulses in pain at times. Tests should come back soon, I pray I don't have an ulcer... What's going on in there?!
I have to teach this little conversation book to my students this year, it's not bad but I'd rather do my own thing. Today I have 3 classes dedicated to it. The students like it, I turn the dialogues into wierd roleplays with funny sunglasses... I'm KANYE bitches?!
Volleyball tomorrow.... PLEASE?!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
1 Month of Madness!?
A lot can happen in a month. Especially in the tumultuous world of an ESL teacher living in Korea?! Number of Hello's by students today: 43 Number of students: 32
Two of my molars are rotting away. It happened during a meal of rice and kimchi gone very very wrong! Something started going "crunch" and it wasn't the Kimchi! After a relatively cheap visit to the dentist it was confirmed that 2 of my back molars (1 on each side) were falling apart. Surgery of some type will be required eventually... Fuck that honky shit?!
Women came, and women went?! In what seems to be the on going pattern of my love life, very little pans out for long. I don't mind the freedom and what-not, but sometimes it's nice to wake up with the girl beside you and think that you'll see her for more than a week tops. At any rate, I seemed to go through more than usual lately. Sucks balls?!... (sometimes figuratively sometimes literally!?)
School has been....school?! Preparing for exams was hectic to say the least. I actually hoped to see some improvement in my students test scores. I wasn't disappointed! Students who averaged 30-40% last year were getting upper 50's to 60% this year (Come on.. baby steps). Co-teacher still hates my guts... That won't ever change?! I'm starting to wonder if I should just transfer to a new school next year. I'd miss the kids though... Kiss my whitebread in Korea ass?!
I GOT MY HAT BACK! That nutty chick ##### gave me my hat back! After she told me it was gone forever?! Sometimes good things happen to bad people... Fuck you Karma!?
Two of my molars are rotting away. It happened during a meal of rice and kimchi gone very very wrong! Something started going "crunch" and it wasn't the Kimchi! After a relatively cheap visit to the dentist it was confirmed that 2 of my back molars (1 on each side) were falling apart. Surgery of some type will be required eventually... Fuck that honky shit?!
Women came, and women went?! In what seems to be the on going pattern of my love life, very little pans out for long. I don't mind the freedom and what-not, but sometimes it's nice to wake up with the girl beside you and think that you'll see her for more than a week tops. At any rate, I seemed to go through more than usual lately. Sucks balls?!... (sometimes figuratively sometimes literally!?)
School has been....school?! Preparing for exams was hectic to say the least. I actually hoped to see some improvement in my students test scores. I wasn't disappointed! Students who averaged 30-40% last year were getting upper 50's to 60% this year (Come on.. baby steps). Co-teacher still hates my guts... That won't ever change?! I'm starting to wonder if I should just transfer to a new school next year. I'd miss the kids though... Kiss my whitebread in Korea ass?!
I GOT MY HAT BACK! That nutty chick ##### gave me my hat back! After she told me it was gone forever?! Sometimes good things happen to bad people... Fuck you Karma!?
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Volleyball!
Volleyball is important in my school. The Alpha Wolf is a former P.E teacher and is just crazy about the game. He feels the need to beat every other school down mercilessly, I like him! We usually play volleyball on Wednesdays and Fridays, but I think it's cancelled today:(
Didn't have any classes yesterday due to some special science day field trip. It totally sucked, I hate sitting around doing nothing. I'd much rather be teaching than watching videos, reading trashy blogs, or any of that desk warming related junk.
Something terribly wrong just happened...I was in the bathroom taking my morning dump when somebody walked in.... must eliminate from my mind......
I've got 5 classes today. I think we'll do roleplays for the regular classes, the kids always love that shit. I give em each a pair of wierd sunglasses to help with creating a new persona for the role play, works great.
After School
I've got a date with this chick I was sleeping with last year. It's strange because now she won't put-out. I'm a sucker for punishment I guess. We'll do the dinner thing then maybe I'll take her to this cozy wine bar in Seomyeon I discovered with Pudding Time
And here we go....
Didn't have any classes yesterday due to some special science day field trip. It totally sucked, I hate sitting around doing nothing. I'd much rather be teaching than watching videos, reading trashy blogs, or any of that desk warming related junk.
Something terribly wrong just happened...I was in the bathroom taking my morning dump when somebody walked in.... must eliminate from my mind......
I've got 5 classes today. I think we'll do roleplays for the regular classes, the kids always love that shit. I give em each a pair of wierd sunglasses to help with creating a new persona for the role play, works great.
After School
I've got a date with this chick I was sleeping with last year. It's strange because now she won't put-out. I'm a sucker for punishment I guess. We'll do the dinner thing then maybe I'll take her to this cozy wine bar in Seomyeon I discovered with Pudding Time
And here we go....
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Laxatives are the Devil?!
Grade 3!The players:- 나영, 지영, 지윤
Great class... We started practicing phonics which made me want to pull out my hair, because 지윤 refuses to speak above a whisper. After 20 gueling minutes of that I decided to try reading a book with them (Tomorrow's Alphabet). They were sounding out words like little pro's. It was awesome!?
Grade 6!The players:- 지성, 인해, 동우, 금지, 양선, 은영, 민성, Donkey
I like to use my afterschool class to review shit we learned in the regular English classes. We reviewed the 4 seasons unique to only Korea(oops?). They actually remembered a lot of what we learned before so it was easy breezy. I decided to give em a week-long group project writing a story about the changing seasons. They sat down, shut up and did their work. Kudos to them!
Grade 5!The players: 지호, 은정, 윤정, 은주, 히재, 정훈, 동율
We watched a movie. They earned a break after a whole month of having English expressions pounded into their heads mercilessly. (thanks to the Busan MOE for making me teach that retarded little book)
Home
I was feeling kind of backed up so I bought some laxatives at the local drugstore. I made sure to ask the chick if they were powerful (I needed serious relief). She said "oh yes vely stlong". I took 2... nothing after 2 hours... I took 2 more... nothing. I went to sleep pissed off because I wasted 1500won.
Woke up with a serious hard-on. They finally did their job and it was all I could do to make it to the toilet before I exploded. Ahhhhh relief.
Great class... We started practicing phonics which made me want to pull out my hair, because 지윤 refuses to speak above a whisper. After 20 gueling minutes of that I decided to try reading a book with them (Tomorrow's Alphabet). They were sounding out words like little pro's. It was awesome!?
Grade 6!The players:- 지성, 인해, 동우, 금지, 양선, 은영, 민성, Donkey
I like to use my afterschool class to review shit we learned in the regular English classes. We reviewed the 4 seasons unique to only Korea(oops?). They actually remembered a lot of what we learned before so it was easy breezy. I decided to give em a week-long group project writing a story about the changing seasons. They sat down, shut up and did their work. Kudos to them!
Grade 5!The players: 지호, 은정, 윤정, 은주, 히재, 정훈, 동율
We watched a movie. They earned a break after a whole month of having English expressions pounded into their heads mercilessly. (thanks to the Busan MOE for making me teach that retarded little book)
Home
I was feeling kind of backed up so I bought some laxatives at the local drugstore. I made sure to ask the chick if they were powerful (I needed serious relief). She said "oh yes vely stlong". I took 2... nothing after 2 hours... I took 2 more... nothing. I went to sleep pissed off because I wasted 1500won.
Woke up with a serious hard-on. They finally did their job and it was all I could do to make it to the toilet before I exploded. Ahhhhh relief.
Monday, April 5, 2010
3 cups of coffee, 2 cigarettes, and 0 classes
Tuesdays suck. My first class doesn't begin until 2:00pm and I've nothing to do.
"Prepare."
No. I've prepared my lessons for the next 3 weeks and I don't want to get too far ahead of myself.
Desk-sitting is what Tuesdays and Thursdays are all about! The gods have played a cruel joke on me, I've nothing to do but bow to them and their great plan.
동준 just said hello to me for the 5th time this morning. Maybe he wants to set a new record. But despite the blatantly stupid scheduling of my classes, I must say my job here at **** elementary is particularly sweet. With the problematic exception of my co-teacher, everyone here loves me... And it's not the condescending type either!
We all get along great at this school, not the cheesy 'happy family' kind of getting along either. We get along because 1-2(ish) times a week everyone at my school goes out and works hard at getting as shitfaced as possible together.
-Volleyball day? "Let's get drunk!"
-MOE overlords visited our school? "Fuck soju, tonight we're drinking whiskey!"
-The spicy squid for lunch was particularly tasty today? "4:30 SOJU TIME!!?!"
Yes, our relationships are built and fueled by booze. The very best social lubricant available to our disposal in this country. And it's not just the men either. Those ladies can drink a lot of the dudes under the floormats. Apparently 제현 just got punched by a girl. He came to get a hug.
I'm tired of writing about nothing. Time for coffee #4 and cigarette #3.
"Prepare."
No. I've prepared my lessons for the next 3 weeks and I don't want to get too far ahead of myself.
Desk-sitting is what Tuesdays and Thursdays are all about! The gods have played a cruel joke on me, I've nothing to do but bow to them and their great plan.
동준 just said hello to me for the 5th time this morning. Maybe he wants to set a new record. But despite the blatantly stupid scheduling of my classes, I must say my job here at **** elementary is particularly sweet. With the problematic exception of my co-teacher, everyone here loves me... And it's not the condescending type either!
We all get along great at this school, not the cheesy 'happy family' kind of getting along either. We get along because 1-2(ish) times a week everyone at my school goes out and works hard at getting as shitfaced as possible together.
-Volleyball day? "Let's get drunk!"
-MOE overlords visited our school? "Fuck soju, tonight we're drinking whiskey!"
-The spicy squid for lunch was particularly tasty today? "4:30 SOJU TIME!!?!"
Yes, our relationships are built and fueled by booze. The very best social lubricant available to our disposal in this country. And it's not just the men either. Those ladies can drink a lot of the dudes under the floormats. Apparently 제현 just got punched by a girl. He came to get a hug.
I'm tired of writing about nothing. Time for coffee #4 and cigarette #3.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Oh the Horror?!
Inspired by the madness I see coming from other K-Blogs, I've decided to throw my hat into the ring. This blog is meant to be a diary of sorts about my life teaching in Korea.
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